How to Address and Assemble Wedding Invitations

Before anyone reads a word of your invitation, they read the envelope. It tells them, in a single glance, exactly who is invited: the couple but not the children, the family including the children, a friend with a guest or without. That is why addressing matters more than it looks, and why it rewards a little care.

What follows is the traditional form, which is still the standard, along with the modern variations that are now just as correct. Pick one style and use it consistently across every envelope. For the wording inside the invitation itself and the wider rules, see our guide to invitation etiquette.

Before you start

• Collect full names and current addresses for everyone on your guest list, including the names of partners and children. Ask, rather than guess, how people prefer to be addressed.
• Order extra envelopes, at least ten to fifteen percent more than you need, for mistakes. Order a few extra invitations for late additions and keepsakes.
• Number the back of each reply card lightly in pencil and keep a master list. Someone will always return a card with no name on it.
• Use a return address on every outer envelope, on the back flap, so anything undeliverable comes back to you.

Addressing outer envelopes

The outer envelope carries the full, formal names and the mailing address.

General rules. Write names in full; avoid initials and nicknames. Spell out “and.” The only abbreviations are titles such as Mr., Mrs., Ms., Mx. and Dr. Traditionally, Street, Avenue, Road and Boulevard are spelled out, as are city and state names; house numbers and ZIP codes are written in figures. Post offices handle either style.

Mr. and Mrs. Daniel Okafor
1420 North Laurel Street
Saint Paul, Minnesota 55105

Couples

Married, sharing a surname. The traditional form is “Mr. and Mrs. Daniel Okafor.” Many couples now prefer both first names: “Mrs. Ada and Mr. Daniel Okafor,” or simply “Ada and Daniel Okafor.”

Married, with different surnames. Write both names in full, joined by “and,” on one line if they fit or on two lines if they don’t: “Ms. Lena Martín and Mr. Paul Hayes.”

Not married, living together. Write each name on its own line, with no “and” between them. Order them alphabetically by surname or put the person you know best first.

Mx. Riley Chen
Mr. Omar Haddad

Same-sex couples. The same rules apply. “Mr. Henry Cole and Mr. James Cole,” “Mrs. Rosa and Mrs. Lena Ortiz,” or “Ms. Grace Lin and Ms. Hannah Weiss” are all correct. The order is yours to choose; alphabetical by first name is a neutral default.

Titles

Ms., Mrs. and Miss. Ms. is correct for any adult woman and is the safest choice when you don’t know a guest’s preference. Miss is traditionally used for girls and young women.

Mx. A gender-neutral title, usually pronounced “mix,” for guests who use it. If a guest goes by Mx., use it; if you’re unsure, leaving titles off every envelope is perfectly acceptable.

Doctors. Medical doctors take “Dr.” socially. Many people with doctorates in other fields also use it; follow the guest’s preference. “Dr. Maya Chen and Mr. Paul Chen.” When both are doctors: “The Doctors Chen” or “Drs. Maya and Paul Chen.”

Judges and elected officials. “The Honorable Ellen Park” for judges and many elected officials, with a spouse written after: “The Honorable Ellen Park and Mr. David Park.”

Military. Write the full rank, spelled out, before the name. The branch can go on the line below: “Captain Ana Ruiz, United States Army.” With a civilian spouse: “Captain Ana Ruiz and Mr. Luis Ruiz.”

Clergy. Use the person’s own form: “The Reverend Sarah Kim,” “Rabbi David Stein.”

Families and plus-ones

Families with children. Traditionally, only the parents’ names go on the outer envelope and the children are named on the inner one. If you aren’t using inner envelopes, list the children under the parents, or write “The Okafor Family.” Use “Family” only if every member of the household is invited.

Adult children. Children 18 and over traditionally receive their own invitations, even if they live at home.

A guest with an unnamed companion. Find out the companion’s name if you can. If not, write the invited guest’s name on the outer envelope and “and Guest” on the inner one, or on the outer envelope if there is no inner one.

Adults-only weddings. Address only the adults. Don’t write “no children” on the envelope; the names say it. Repeat it kindly on your wedding website.

Addressing inner envelopes

The inner envelope is a holdover from the days when outer envelopes arrived travel-stained. It is optional now, and many suites skip it. When you use one, it carries names only, with no address, and it is left unsealed.

Traditional. Titles and surnames only: “Mr. and Mrs. Okafor,” “Dr. Chen and Mr. Chen,” “Mx. Chen.”

Familiar. The names you actually use, for close family and friends: “Grandma and Grandpa,” “Aunt Rosa and Uncle Luis,” “Ada and Daniel.”

Children. List invited children by first name on the line below their parents, oldest first:

Mr. and Mrs. Okafor
Chidi and Zara

A plus-one. “Ms. Martín and Guest,” or “Lena and Guest.”

Assembling wedding invitations

Lay everything out in stations and assemble in batches. Stack the pieces in order of size, largest at the bottom, every piece printed side up:

1. The invitation, at the bottom, face up.
2. Tissue, if it came with the suite. It was once used to stop ink from smudging; today it’s decorative and optional.
3. The reception card, if the reception is somewhere other than the ceremony.
4. Other enclosures: the details card, accommodation card, map or directions.
5. The reply card, tucked face up under the flap of its envelope, not sealed inside it. The reply envelope should be addressed to whoever is collecting the replies and already stamped.

Folded invitations. If the wording is inside the fold, put the enclosures inside it. If the wording is on the front, stack the enclosures on top. For a tri-fold or accordion fold, tuck enclosures inside the second fold.

Into the envelopes. Slide the stack into the inner envelope, or the single envelope, with the printed side facing the flap, so that the guest sees the wording as they draw it out. If the invitation is folded, the fold goes in first. Then place the unsealed inner envelope into the outer envelope with the guests’ names facing the back flap.

Mention the dress code on the details card or the website, never on the invitation itself; our dress code guide explains the terms. For reply card wording and how guests should answer, see how to RSVP.

Postage and the post office

Weigh one complete suite first. Take a fully assembled, sealed invitation, with every enclosure and the stamped reply envelope inside, to the post office counter and have it weighed and measured before you buy stamps. Postage depends on weight, size and shape, and a heavy card stock can push a suite past the price of a single stamp.

Watch the shape and thickness. USPS charges extra postage for letters it considers nonmachinable, including square envelopes, pieces that are too rigid to bend and envelopes with clasps, strings, buttons or lumps that make them uneven, such as wax seals, ribbons or charms. A letter thicker than a quarter of an inch, or larger than the letter size limits, is priced as a large envelope.

Stamp the reply envelopes with domestic postage. For guests abroad, your stamps won’t work in their country; skip the stamp on their reply envelope and offer an online RSVP or email instead. Write the destination country in capitals as the last line of the address.

Ask about hand-canceling. Machine sorting can mark or crease heavy stationery. Many post offices will hand-cancel invitations on request; ask at the counter.

Mail them six to eight weeks before the wedding, earlier for a destination wedding or a holiday weekend. Our guide to sending your invitations covers the full timeline.

Wedding announcement wording

Announcements are sent after the wedding, ideally within a few weeks, to people who weren’t invited: colleagues, distant relatives, old friends, or everyone, after an elopement or a very small wedding. They carry no obligation to send a gift. Never send one to someone who was invited.

They are worded much like an invitation, but in the past tense, and can be issued by the couple, by one or both families, or by everyone together. The examples below use fictional names; adjust the date line for your own wedding.

From the couple:

Ada Grace Bennett
and
Daniel Chidi Okafor
are delighted to announce their marriage
on Saturday, the twelfth of September
two thousand twenty-six
Charleston, South Carolina

From one family:

Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Bennett
are pleased to announce the marriage of their daughter
Ada Grace
to
Daniel Chidi Okafor
Saturday, the twelfth of September
two thousand twenty-six
Charleston, South Carolina

From both families:

Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Bennett
and
Dr. Ngozi Okafor and Mr. Emeka Okafor
are pleased to announce the marriage of their children
Ada Grace Bennett
and
Daniel Chidi Okafor
Saturday, the twelfth of September
two thousand twenty-six
Charleston, South Carolina

After an elopement, less formally:

We eloped.
Ada Bennett and Daniel Okafor
were married on the twelfth of September, 2026,
on the coast of Big Sur, California.
We can’t wait to celebrate with you.

If you’re planning a later party, add a line such as “Reception to follow in the spring; details to come,” and send the details separately. For verses and lines to add to an invitation or announcement, see our collection of invitation verses.