Wedding Blessings and Prayers: Irish, Anglican and More
The Prayer Book’s “Dearly beloved,” the Irish road rising to meet you, the Peace Prayer and a prayer by Robert Louis Stevenson: seven blessings and prayers, with honest notes on where they come from.
A blessing is not quite a reading. A reading speaks about love to everyone in the room; a blessing speaks directly to the couple, wishing them something; a prayer speaks to God on their behalf. That difference matters in practice, because it changes who should say the words, where they belong in the ceremony and where the speaker should look. The seven texts on this page range from the 1662 Book of Common Prayer, much of it inherited from Thomas Cranmer’s service of 1549, to a devotional piece that circulates today in evangelical churches.
Choosing among them
At the beginning. Dearly Beloved is the opening that every film wedding borrows, and it is usually spoken by the officiant rather than a guest. It names three reasons for marriage and is frank in places (“carnal lusts and appetites”); some couples love it for its history, others trim it. Talk to your officiant.
In the middle. The Prayer Book’s prayer after the giving of rings, in A Marriage Prayer and Blessing, asks that the couple live as faithfully as Isaac and Rebecca. Stevenson’s A Family Prayer, written in Samoa in the last years of his life and read aloud at his home at Vailima, gives thanks for family, work and friends, and suits the moment two families become one.
At the end. May the Road Rise to Meet You sends the couple out. The Prayer Book blessing, which follows the declaration of marriage in the original service, also makes a fine close to a sequence of readings. At Irish-American weddings, guests often say the first verse of the Irish blessing along with the reader; print it in the program so they can. The Irish blessing works as well at the reception as a toast; see wedding toasts and our Irish wedding theme.
By ceremony. For an Anglican or Episcopal service, the Prayer Book texts fit naturally. Make Us Instruments of Your Peace is loved across many traditions and suits an interfaith ceremony. A Prayer of the Elements suits an outdoor or civil ceremony. Perfect Love, which speaks of finding contentment in God before in each other, is for a couple whose faith is central to how they understand their marriage; at about two and a half minutes, it is the longest text here.
Honest notes on origins
Blessings gather legends. The Peace Prayer is universally called the Prayer of St. Francis, but it first appeared in a small French Catholic magazine in 1912, some seven centuries after Francis; credit it as “traditionally attributed to St. Francis of Assisi.” A Prayer of the Elements has circulated for years as a “Cherokee prayer,” with no evidence that it comes from Cherokee tradition; credit it as a traditional blessing of unknown origin. The Irish blessing is usually said to come from an old Gaelic prayer, and the wedding verses were added later. Perfect Love’s author is unknown.
Saying a blessing or prayer aloud
Speak a blessing to the couple. Turn toward them, learn the opening line well enough to look up, and let the guests overhear. A prayer is different: some readers invite guests to bow their heads, and a clear “Amen” at the end gives the room a cue to answer. The 1662 language is stately; take it slowly and let its long sentences unfold rather than rushing for the full stop.
Pairings
Dearly Beloved with Matthew 19:4–6. The Prayer Book’s opening and the Gospel words that the service later echoes at the declaration.
A Family Prayer with Ruth 1:16–17. Two texts about chosen family, for a ceremony joining two households.
A Prayer of the Elements with a unity candle. Its blessing of fire, among the four elements, gives a lighting ritual words to go with it.
Dearly Beloved (Book of Common Prayer)
Book of Common Prayer (1662)
Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here in the sight of God, and in the face of this Congregation, to join together this man and this woman in holy Matrimony; which is an honourable estate, instituted of God in the time of man’s innocency, signifying unto us the mystical union that is betwixt Christ and his Church; which holy estate Christ adorned and beautified with his presence, and first miracle that he wrought, in Cana of Galilee; and is commended of Saint Paul to be honourable among all men: and therefore is not by any to be enterprised, nor taken in hand, unadvisedly, lightly, or wantonly, to satisfy men’s carnal lusts and appetites, like brute beasts that have no understanding; but reverently, discreetly, advisedly, soberly, and in the fear of God; duly considering the causes for which Matrimony was ordained.
…
Thirdly, It was ordained for the mutual society, help, and comfort, that the one ought to have of the other, both in prosperity and adversity.
A Marriage Prayer and Blessing (Book of Common Prayer)
Book of Common Prayer (1662)
O eternal God, Creator and Preserver of all mankind, Giver of all spiritual grace, the Author of everlasting life: Send thy blessing upon these thy servants, this man and this woman, whom we bless in thy Name; that, as Isaac and Rebecca lived faithfully together, so these persons may surely perform and keep the vow and covenant betwixt them made, (whereof this ring given and received is a token and pledge,) and may ever remain in perfect love and peace together, and live according to thy laws; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
…
God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Ghost, bless, preserve, and keep you; the Lord mercifully with his favour look upon you, and so fill you with all spiritual benediction and grace, that ye may so live together in this life, that in the world to come ye may have life everlasting. Amen.
May the Road Rise to Meet You
May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of his hand.
May God be with you and bless you;
May you see your children’s children.
May you be poor in misfortune,
Rich in blessings,
May you know nothing but happiness
From this day forward.
May the road rise to meet you
May the wind be always at your back
May the warm rays of sun fall upon your home
And may the hand of a friend always be near.
May green be the grass you walk on,
May blue be the skies above you,
May pure be the joys that surround you,
May true be the hearts that love you.
Make Us Instruments of Your Peace
Anonymous (c. 1912), traditionally attributed to St. Francis of Assisi
Lord, make
us instruments of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let us sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is discord, union;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy;
O Divine Master, Grant that we may not so much seek
To be consoled as to console,
To be understood as to understand,
To be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
Amen
A Family Prayer
Robert Louis Stevenson
Lord, behold our family here assembled.
We thank you for this place in which we dwell,
for the love that unites us,
for the peace accorded us this day,
for the hope with which we expect the morrow,
for the health, the work, the food,
and the bright skies that make our lives delightful;
for our friends in all parts of the earth.
Amen
A Prayer of the Elements
Author unknown
God in heaven above
please protect the ones we love.
We honor all you created as we pledge
our hearts and lives together.
We honor mother-earth
– and ask for our marriage to be abundant
and grow stronger through the seasons;
We honor fire
– and ask that our union be warm
and glowing with love in our hearts;
We honor wind
– and ask we sail though life
safe and calm as in our father’s arms;
We honor water
– to clean and soothe our relationship
– that it may never thirsts for love;
With all the forces of the universe you created,
we pray for harmony and true happiness as we forever grow young together.
Amen.
Perfect Love
Author unknown
Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone. To have a deep soul relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly and exclusively. But God to the Christian says, “No, not until you’re satisified and fulfilled and content with living, loved by Me alone and giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me, to have an intensely personal and unique relationship with Me alone.
“I love you, My child, and until you discover that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you. You will never be united with another until you are united with Me — exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any other desires or belongings.
“I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow Me to bring it to you. You just keep watching Me, expecting the greatest things. Keep learning and listening to the things I tell you. You must wait.
“Don’t be anxious and don’t worry. Don’t look around at the things you think you want. Just keep looking off and away up to Me, or you’ll miss what I have to show you.
“And then, when you’re ready, I’ll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than any you would ever dream. You see, until you are ready and until the one I have for you is ready, I am working this minute to have both of you ready at the same time, and until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I’ve prepared for you, you won’t be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me, and this is perfect love.
“And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love. I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me, and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty and perfection and love that I offer you with Myself. Know I love you. I am God Almighty, believe and be satisfied.”
